Bittersweet
by Yuei
Summary: Her thoughts about the two most important man of her life, what will happen to the three of them? Read and review to find out.
1. Doumyouji Tsukasa

Hello, everybody. This is my second fic after Best Friends. Please read Best Friends, thank you. This fic will have three chapters, I hope you all like it. So please read and review.  
  
I do not own Hana Yori Dango.  
  
Bittersweet  
  
Doumyouji Tsukasa  
  
Bittersweet. That's the taste of the coffee candy melting in Makino Tsukushi's mouth. And that was also the flavor of the thoughts on her mind. If thoughts can have flavors. Over the years Tsukushi have changed into a woman. Years have caused her body to have all the curves where they were expected.  
  
On her face the years have also caused lines of worries. Why? That can all credit to the two most important men in her life.  
  
Doumyouji Tsukasa. Her first boyfriend. The man that attracted her with his fiery protectiveness and childish smile. The one that promised to protect her for all he's worth. Well, Tsukushi thought bitterly, then that means he's not worth that much. After graduation, everything was the best that Tsukushi could imagine. But that all changed with a car crash and amnesia. She tried her best to hold on the broken love that she and Tsukasa shared. But love couldn't exist when only one person was feeling it. Tsukushi visited Tsukasa every day, trying to revive his memory. But two months of trying all for nothing. It only resulted to tears and a lot of visits to Rui. The last visit ended their relationship once and for all.  
  
It was a sunny Friday. As usual Tsukushi made her trip to the hospital. Picking wild flowers on the way. Maybe that will make Tsukasa remember! Tsukushi thought smiling to herself. She had put on the Saturn necklace today. Because today was a special day. It was the day that she first agreed to be Tsukasa's official girlfriend. Sunlight spattered on the hospital hall, she walked quickly to Tsukasa's room. Tsukushi couldn't wait to see Tsukasa. She has a feeling that something important will happen today.  
  
She slowed down as she neared Tsukasa's room. The white wooden door was slightly ajar. Strange, she thought, is anybody else visiting him? She peeked inside and saw a scene that made her heart stop. Run! Run! Don't watch! Her mind screamed but her eyes couldn't tear itself from the scene. The hear-breaking scene of Shigeru and Tsukasa kissing passionately. She recognized the blush on his face, the timid hands. There is no way! She dropped the flowers on the floor. The sound was slight but was more than enough to break the kissing couple. Shigeru and Tsukasa jumped apart. They stared at her guiltily. "I can explain!" Shigeru shouted. But Tsukushi was in no mood to listen to false excuses. Tsukushi has seen the strange behavior between Shigeru and Tsukasa before. But not this close and this intimate. Tsukushi's eyes began to tear up. She shook her head furiously. Unable to expect the painful truth. Then she did what every normal human being would do when they want to avoid the truth. She began to run.  
  
She ran on and on. Not wanting to stop, because if she stopped the world would catch her up. Rubbing her nose into the painful truth again. She ran to the park. The park that Rui always visited. But she was out of luck today. Rui's familiar figure was not sitting on the usual bench today. She sat on it, unable to run anymore. Lying down on the bench she let all her tears flow. Why? Why? Why now? After all we've being through. I can't believe he's giving up now!  
  
Footsteps neared her bench, but she did not make any signs of acknowledgment. Tsukasa pulled her up. Forcing her to look into his eyes. He knew she knew the truth. The truth that she had had known for the last two months. The undeniable truth that they were destined to break apart from each other. Without Tsukasa's persistent and fiery love she couldn't keep a love that had the whole world against it. They were from different worlds she and Doumyouji. Keeping on trying would just be a burden for the both of them. And that has never being clearer than after Doumyouji's memory loss. I know that I love Tsukasa, Tsukushi thought. But I'd rather he be happy. Even if his happiness means I have to let him go. I'm sorry Tsukasa, I'm sorry to the Tsukasa that you used to be. The old you who had thrown the whole world away to keep our love. But the new you is different. I have to change too. I have to change to a new Tsukushi. Change to a Tsukushi that doesn't rely on you, doesn't rely on the love that we used to have.  
  
Tsukushi nodded. She understood what Doumyouji wanted her to do. Doumyouji smiled, he understood too. Tsukushi knew that no matter what happens she'll always have Doumyouji as a friend. The chemistry between them will never change, even without memories. Doumyouji signaled Tsukushi to wait here. He ran away quickly. What's he doing now? Tsukushi thought curiously.  
  
Doumyouji can back with a bunch of wild flowers that he has just picked from beside the road. He held it out to her. Tsukushi smiled she knew what it meant. She knew that Doumyouji Tsukasa wanted her to be the strong weed that she had always been. He wanted to be able to stand up proudly even after a storm. He wanted her to hold her head up to all her peers, to let them see her smile, her proud smile. Doumyouji started to walk away, his message sent and received.  
  
"I will, Doumyouji." Tsukushi shouted to his back. "I'll make you regret that you've let me go."  
  
"That's my Tsukushi." Doumyouji said over his back.  
  
Thank you Doumyouji. Thank you for reminding me my weed personality. Thank you for giving me the courage to face all that has to come. I know it'll be hard but I also know that I will make it.  
  
Ahhh, finished. I know, I know some of you out there don't like what I'm doing here. So please throw it all on me in my reviews! Come on, speak up! 


	2. Hanazawa Rui

Thanks for the people who reviewed on my story. Thank you, thank you.  
  
Piglet 2: You're really like my savior. Why? Because I really thought that nobody would like my story. You're right this is my first time in writing. But I've been reading fanfictions for about two months. I've read both of your story. They're really great! Keep on writing!  
  
And to answer am I a Rui fan or not. Well I'm a 70 percent Rui fan and a 30 percent Tsukasa fan. This that qualify for a Rui fan? But I really like reading fanfictions that have R/T ending but I can't really find a lot of those kind of fanfics. But this is not going to be R/T. But I promise there will be a happy ending for Tsukushi.  
  
ToinKs: I can't believe that you're commenting on my story!!! I really like your one-shot Loving Too Late. I guess I'm just one in a bunch right? I think that Tsukushi is a bit selfish in this story too. I guess that it reflects on me, I don't really believe that there could be a girl in this world that is totally selfless. And Rui is just there, which girl wouldn't use a free confidante? And Tsukushi really needs him. What does OOC mean?  
  
Bittersweet  
  
Hanazawa Rui  
  
Hanazawa Rui, my first crush. Tsukushi thought. The boy with the clear eyes, the boy that always had a shoulder for me. A special place that would always be there. No matter how hard he tries to hide it. Rui, the one that was always standing in Tsukasa's shadows, occasionally standing out to take my hand when Tsukasa hurts me. The one that gives me refuge.  
  
But he'll never know, never know how much pain he has caused in my heart. Even from the beginning, from the first time I saw F4. The one that I really noticed was he. Lagging behind, with heavy-hooded eyes. Looking like he'll fall asleep any time. Tsukushi laughed when she thought of this. But he really is not that ignorant. No, he is actually the most observant of F4. The most sensitive. But not when it comes to Shizuka. He couldn't see that Shizuka will never be his. That Shizuka will not be able to reply his affections the way he wants her to.  
  
She remembered the time in Japan. The time that he just came back from France and had a 180 degrees mood change. He was acting like a playboy. Tsukushi knew that something was wrong on the first look; she knew that Rui was trying to hide something. She couldn't sleep that night with Tsukasa in the same room as her. After all that was the first time she slept with any human of the opposite sex except her father. She took a walk on the beach. Thinking about Rui's strange behavior. Suddenly she saw a shadow not far away from her. A shadow of a person. A person that was walking into the sea! Tsukushi ran quickly hoping that that person will not do anything stupid before she arrives. She ran into the water, not bothering to roll up her pajama legs. She hugged the slim figure tightly. And with a strength she never knew she had, pulled the person back onto the beach.  
  
Tsukushi collapsed on the beach beside the figure. Panting heavily, she finally got a good look at the person's face. She gasped when she saw the deathly-white face of Hanazawa Rui. She held his hands, they were deathly cold. She whimpered anxiously, "Don't die, don't die. I don't want to see a person die. You're still young. Don't die, don't die." She hugged Rui tight, trying to warm him up. After what seemed like the most blissful and the worst moment in her life. She felt Rui's hand moving to hug her tight. They stayed like that for a few moments, Tsukushi trying to get over the delight that Rui did not die.  
  
Tsukushi pulled away quickly when she realized what they were doing. Her face blushed crimson she thanked the dark. "What are you doing!" She shouted at Rui. "You could have died! Don't ever do that again!"  
  
"I wouldn't." Rui replied.  
  
"What? You were half-dead when I saved you!"  
  
"No, I was just trying to catch the sun."  
  
"Huh?" Tsukushi puzzled. Then she realized that the sun was rising over the horizon. Dying the waters to a glorious red. The light reflected onto Rui's face. Making him more beautiful than ever. She quickly turned away no wanting Rui to catch her watching. "Whatever," she grumbled. "I'm going back to catch some z's." She stood up, starting to go back to the beachside hotel.  
  
"Thank you." She stopped at the sound of Rui's voice. She turned back only to see Rui absorbed in the view. She shook her head, maybe it was the lack of sleep making her hallucinate. She walked away.  
  
However at that time she would have never known that she would fall for Rui's best friend. She would have never guessed that she would actually begin to see Rui as a mentor a confider. A person that actually has a soft spot for her. Although she knew that she could never replace Shizuka. She always thought that Rui would be by her side. Even if his best friend Tsukasa is not her boyfriend anymore.  
  
That night, Rui asked her to go to the emergency staircase. She was very curious since they've graduated from school for two years now. She hummed a tune that Rui taught her before. She never knew that she and Rui could share so much. She smiled to herself watching the stars.  
  
A pair of arms snaked around her waist. She turned around surprised, "Rui?" She saw the familiar face. But Rui was different today, there was a smile playing on his lips. Although Rui smiled more and more often but never for a long time. Fireworks started to go off all around them.  
  
"Make a wish." He closed his eyes still refusing to let Tsukushi go. Tsukushi closed her eyes, puzzled but still happy. I wish I will be happy. I wish Rui will be happy. She wished quickly and opened her eyes. She found Rui studying her intently, as if trying to carve her image into his mind.  
  
"What? Is there something on my face?" Tsukushi rubbed her face furiously.  
  
"No," Rui answered amused. "I'm just thinking that if I didn't look hard, I wouldn't even find you pretty."  
  
"What the-" Tsukushi slipped out of his arms. Putting her hands onto her hips. "Then don't look! I'll tell you Hanazawa Rui that many people will pay to look at the beautiful, gorgeous, girl in front of you! But she has enough grace to let you look for free!" Tsukushi point her index finger at Rui's chest.  
  
"How much?"  
  
"Huh?" She looked up finding Rui's face serious. "Hey, I was just kidding."  
  
"I'll give all the money in the world to look at you for all my life." Rui said intensely.  
  
"Then look, nobody's stopping you."  
  
"The world is stopping me. My fate forbids me to."  
  
"Then go against it! Fight it! If your fate makes you unhappy. Then why do you just let it?"  
  
"Because I'm not you, Tsukushi. I don't have your weed power."  
  
Tsukushi looked surprised at Rui. She took his hand into hers. "I now give you my weed power. But you have to give me back when you've finished using it." She said solemnly.  
  
Rui's expression changed at once. His tears began to flow, he hugged her tightly. Even tighter than that time on the beach. "Thanks Tsukushi. I'm going to use your weed power to tell you all the things that I've never had the guts to tell you before."  
  
"I love you, Tsukushi."  
  
Tsukushi took a sharp breath. "What are you saying-"  
  
"Don't interrupt me, I'm going to say this while I still have the courage. I've noticed you from the beginning. Your strength your weakness. I know you better than even myself. Now leaving you would be like cutting a piece of myself out and throwing it away. But do you know? Tsukushi, do you know that Shizuka has cancer? Do you know that my parents want me to marry her for the sake of bringing her happiness at the end of her life? How can I say no? How can I?" Rui took a deep breath after his little speech.  
  
Tsukushi stood in a stupor. "You should go. Rui." She said finally.  
  
"I know. I'm going to France tomorrow."  
  
"Do you have a telephone number? I can contact you there. We'll always be friends, won't we?"  
  
"Yes, we will Tsukushi." Rui answered. "We always will."  
  
Rui turned to go. "I give it back."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Your weed power."  
  
"You can't. Because it was always there. Just like I'll always be by your side."  
  
Rui smiled. "Thank you, Tsukushi." He turned and walked away. Not looking back.  
  
Tsukushi sat on the staircase alone. Even Rui has left her. He doesn't want to but he did. Destiny was always cruel to us. But I won't surrender to it! I won't! No matter how many more bittersweet moments there are to come. I won't ever let my dignity go beneath me. I'll take whatever life throws at me!  
  
"Bring it on!" Tsukushi shouted that night at the staircase. Only for the endless night sky to hear.  
  
Hee, Tsukushi is being the usual stubborn weed. But I'm glad too that she'll survive even after two great heart-breaking moments of her life. Please comment on what you think of my story. Do you think I've been cruel to Tsukushi? 


	3. A New Beginning

Hello, everybody! Long time no see!  
  
Piglet 2: Are you considering writing a long-term fic with a happy ending about Rui? Cause I would just love to read one! I understand that you tried to make it in Brown Eyes but it really didn't come out as happy as I really hoped. Poor Rui, never a happy ending in all the fics I've read;(  
  
Three AM: Thank you. Thank you for commenting about the twist with Shizuka. But I'm ashamed to say that the idea wasn't really originated from me. It was from another story, which Shizuka had brain tumor. Poor Shizuka, I'm sorry for making her have cancer. But it was necessary for my fic.  
  
Trevtrev: Are you an author? Cause if you sign the comment I could go and read your fics(  
  
entree: All comments are welcomed. Especially those that are aimed to improve my writing. Thank you for commenting. I will be careful on feelings on my next fic( Do you have an e-mail. Cause you sound like an expert, I could really use some help. My grammar is horrible even my best friend say so. I hope you read this entrée please comment back.  
  
Toinks: Hi Toinks! Yeah I've noticed Tsukushi is a bit aggressive too. But I guess in this story Tsukushi doesn't actually have that serious crush anymore(  
  
Stacy: Hi! Thanks for commenting on my story! Here's my last chapter. I hope you'll like it! Please leave a comment on how you think of this chapter.  
  
Bittersweet  
  
I do not own Hana Yori Dango  
  
A New Beginning  
  
Doumyouji Tsukasa, Hanazawa Rui. Although they've left Tsukushi, life still goes on. Tsukushi is now a successful designer in an international company. Her clothes designs have become known all over the world. She now has her own label. Susume know goes to university in America. Tsukushi often encourage her parents to go on holidays. Letting the two lovebirds off by themselves. Her parents were still very disappointed that their daughter has not flown onto a golden branch yet.  
  
Tsukushi felt the candy melt completely in her mouth. She winced at the taste. Tsukushi is sitting in front of her primary school, apparently waiting for someone.  
  
"Tsukushi! Over here!" Tsukushi heard the familiar voice of the man she was waiting for.  
  
"Kazuya, what took you so long?" Tsukushi turned to face Kazuya, hands on her hips.  
  
There was a foolish grin on Kazuya's face, he held out two roasted potatoes in front of Tsukushi. Tsukushi immediately squealed in delight. She grabbed hold of the one Kazuya was holding out to her. "Is this what I think it is? The most delicious food on earth? Made by that old Mr. Tanaka that used to sell it in front of our school? How did you get it Kazuya?"  
  
Kazuya smiled at Tsukushi's childish acts, "Secret."  
  
Tsukushi shrugged, she bit into the potato. Chewing for all she was worth. Suddenly her teeth hit something hard. She frowned taking a close look at the potato. "What on earth-"  
  
She felt someone take her hand, but she ignored that person for she was busy digging out the hard thing in the potato. It was a small gold ring. Tsukushi looked up and saw Kazuya kneeling on the ground. "Will you marry me?"  
  
Tsukushi's jaw dropped to the ground. "Is this real gold? Are you kidding Kazuya?"  
  
"You mean me? Kidding about marrying my crush since fifth grade?"  
  
"Now I know you must be kidding. How can you have a crush on me when I was wearing glasses and braces?"  
  
"Because I am a big idiot! Because I fell in love with that girl's inner strength not her outer looks!"  
  
Tsukushi smiled she knew that Kazuya knew she would agree. Since they've been going steady for a year. "Well, I'll only marry a man with good looks."  
  
Kazuya smoothed his hair and gave Tsukushi one of his gorgeous smiles.  
  
"Ok, ok. You've passed that one but I'll only marry a man with a lot of money."  
  
Kazuya took out his purse and fanned himself with his credit cards.  
  
Tsukushi giggled, "I'll only marry a man who can eat roast potatoes faster than me!" She started wolfing down the rest of her potato. Kazuya just stuffed the whole thing in his mouth. With peel and all.  
  
"Ewwww, Kazuya you're disgusting! Last of all I'll only marry a man who can make me laugh."  
  
"You asked for this!" Kazuya jumped and Tsukushi. Tsukushi eyes went as round as saucers, when she realized what Kazuya was going to do. She slipped out of his tickling range and started running and whacking Kazuya with her purse.  
  
The coupe ran all the way to the park. Tsukushi finally collapsed on the grass, with Kazuya tickling her. Tsukushi laughed until she was out of breath.  
  
"I surrender Kazuya! You wouldn't want you fiancée die laughing wouldn't you?"  
  
Kazuya stopped, "Then you agree to be my wife?" He smiled.  
  
"Not if you can't catch me!" Tsukushi ran off laughing again.  
  
It all seemed like yesterday when she first met Kazuya. The new awkward boy in her class. That the teacher wanted her to show around the school. But Kazuya seemed to disappear after class. Tsukushi searched for him desperately hoping he's not causing trouble anywhere. She heard some racket coming from the boys' toilet. She debated for a moment then charged in. Tsukushi saw Kazuya the new boy been pressed to the floor by three big boys. She gave a punch to the boy that held Kazuya down. And took his hand. She ran quickly out of the toilet with the frightened Kazuya clinging to her. Finally they rested behind the school parking lot.  
  
"Thank-than-thank you." Kazuya stammered.  
  
"No problem I'm Tsukushi. I'm the one who's supposed to show you around the school." Tsukushi smiled and stuck out her hand.  
  
Kazuya took it. "Glad-gla-glad to meet-meet you. I-I'm Ka-ka-zuya."  
  
Tsukushi frowned; apparently this boy had some problems. "From now on stick to me, ok? Don't worry about the bullies I'll protect you."  
  
Kazuya nodded and smiled thankfully. From then on they became the best of friends.  
  
Tsukushi remembered the day when Kazuya finally told her how he felt. Tsukushi was on an all-nighter, planning her first personal walk show. She fell asleep right at her desk.  
  
She felt the pressure of something dropping onto her shoulders. She looked up to find Kazuya wearing his usual cheeky grin.  
  
"Kazuya!" Tsukushi cheered up immediately, "What are you doing here?"  
  
"I'm coming to visit my friend aka the most promising fashion designer in the last decade."  
  
Tsukushi giggled, "You flatter me too much, Kazuya."  
  
Kazuya pulled out a seat. Sitting down in front of Tsukushi. "So planning your first show already?"  
  
"Yeah, I still have to work out what Selina wears when she's on her fourth round."  
  
"Let's not think about that now. What's been going on in your personal life lately?"  
  
Tsukushi shrugged, "Nothing much."  
  
"Think hard."  
  
"Nothing much except that Rui has gone to France and Tsukasa is getting married with Shigeru next month." Tsukushi could feel tears stinging in her eyes, since Kazuya dragged open her old wounds again.  
  
"What! You call that not much!" Kazuya noticed Tsukushi's eyes and softened his voice. "Tsukushi are you ok?"  
  
Tsukushi laughed, "Why shouldn't I be?"  
  
"Cry if you want to."  
  
Tsukushi was surprised, Kazuya have certainly grown up a lot in the last few years. Then the stress and the sadness of Rui and Tsukasa leaving her all caught up with her, she finally cried in front of Kazuya.  
  
Kazuya awkwardly put a hand on Tsukasa's shoulder. Then she took her into his embrace. After a few minutes. He wiped Tsukushi tears with his index finger.  
  
"Do you know Tsukushi? That when you stood up that time in front of the whole class and took 16 of my hits for me then after class you wiped my tears I swore at that time that one day I would be man enough to wipe away your tears and bring you happiness."  
  
Tsukushi wiped her eyes, "Kazuya-"  
  
"Please Tsukushi give me a chance. I know I can't replace Tsukasa and Rui in your heart, but I'll try. I'll try to be the man of your dreams."  
  
Tsukushi nodded. Kazuya deserved a chance. She knew that he had being chasing her ever since high school. But in her heart she knew that was not the real reason. The real reason is, she wanted a chance to be happy too. Without Rui and Tsukasa, she still wanted to be happy.  
  
"Caught you!" Kazuya caught her hugging her tightly from behind. "And I'm never gonna let you go."  
  
Tsukushi laughed, yes she is going to be happy. For her, tomorrow will be a new beginning.  
  
Finished. All finished:_( I'm actually a bit sad. I don't know when I'll start another fanfic. But I hope you guys will support me when I do.  
  
Please, please, please, please comment!!!!!!!! 


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